a break of rhythm

went out to bugis with him today. dunno why. he was so moody. said he was tired. but who knows. tried to keep him cheerful. succeded for a while then it dead. say me somemore. (pout). how to go shopping with this kind of mood. totally could have just gone myself lah. it would be more relaxing also. please lah. was so looking forward to today lor.

the purpose today was to buy my shoe. dunno how to put pics in blogs or else i could have shown you. yarz. found some nice ones atbugis street but all the sizes were too big. size 8? for the ones i super like. size 6? for the gal's type. pur..lease. i'm only a size 4. -_-". then i found one not bad at bugis juction edge. cost me $49! still is display and last pair lah. then both sides felt quite uneven lah cuz one was the display one. okok. say me stupid lah. but i super want the shoe. tried to hint him about a custom made one for me for valentine. but guess he din catch the hint. it might have cost cheaper too. but it would have taken a much longer time. wanted to wear it this week. see lah. i'm so starting to regret buying the shoe. and it cost so much more than the one in bugis street. (pout).

then i waited for mich at bugis cuz she wanted to change something. lolx. she was so angry when she found out the shop wasn't open. but because of a kind soul, we managed to find out when the shop was opening. so... mich waited and i went home. he went off first because he had something on.

he didn't know the shoe i bought was the last pair and all the complains i made earlier. i knew he wanted to say something but he didn't want to but i still insisted. said i was too desperate in buying the shoe. ok. i am. told you. wanted a custom made one but...

valentine's coming. actually i had a whole list of gifts that i wanted and planned to go for jap buffet that day. but now. i will just keep quiet. avoid being said of spending too much money. ok lor. i'll start to save for the things i want to get myself. dun even know what to buy for him. wanted to buy wallet but he said dun need. so nevermind. if not he'll say me again. gosh. valentine's going to be boring this year. dun even think i'll be getting anything lah. i then dun want to think. if not later like our 3rd anneverary. planned things made nice couple tees in the end get scolding because waste money... haix. starting to wonder if i'll ever receive flowers or get some surprise that day. that's like so zero%.

talking about gifts. should i get some gifts for some nice peeps during this valentine/friendship period? i think i should. but budget kinda tight ya. thinking of getting a wallet for someone. wallet is very impt for a guy lah. serious. that's way when giving things to guys, wallets are the best. then of course some of my gal frens too! cookies? sweet.

i'm actually quite sad today lah. haix. just want somebody to go out HAPPILY with me lah. wanna be hugged so much. wish that someone would actually take the initiative to hold my hand lah. not just anyone. but... haix. it wun happen. been quite some time that he already hold my hand out of initiative. it was me lor.

want to cry too. results coming out this week. he's working like everyday except wkends? wanted him to be there just in case it was bad lah. if it's gd, also need to celebrate what. feel so alone. nvm. i'll be independent. on the day of the results. if anyone of u notice tt i'm quiet and disappear quite fast. i'll be at the bay of the esplanade. tt is if u want to find me. of course i'll be touched but who m i kidding? no one will go lor. johannes dun even know this blog. dun tell him hor. gave him enough hints about it already.

why life so miserable... haix... feel like crying manz. really, i do. but can't bring myself to do it. dun want to spoil the mood of my frens. but who will know lor as i've said. people dunno i have this blog. those who know, know tt i never blog. so... nvm. i'll turn to my pillow for a gd cry. as always. =]